Free download Second Hand Curses ↠ E-book or Kindle E-pub

Free read Second Hand Curses

Free download Second Hand Curses ↠ E-book, or Kindle E-pub Î 9 hoursWhen your fairy godmother threatens to enslave you with a curse when a malevolent piper solves your rat problem but steals your children when you seek revenge on the prince who turned you into a frog who can you turn to in your hour of need The band of s9 hoursWhen your fairy godmother threatens to enslave you with a curse when a malevolent piper solves your rat problem but steals your children when you seek revenge on the prince who turned you into a frog who can you turn to in your hour of need The band of scoundrels known far and wide as the Bastard Champions the swashbuckling trio who. Inelegantly derivative

Drew Hayes é 9 review

Travel a world of legend seeking adventure and righting wrongs as long as there's enough gold to be earned They are Jack the seemingly unkillable leader whose ever present grin belies a dark past; Marie who fights with fury but battles fiercely to control the beast within; and Frank the master of logistics whose cloak hides horrific scars. I love a good fairy tale retelling Second Hand Curses by Drew Hayes takes many well known and loved fairy tales and nursery rhymes turn them on their head adds a dash of sly wit and a heavy dose of action The combination is often hilarious with a touch of darkness and pure fun The story is told in an episodic format with each chapter being it's own story within a story typically focusing on a specific fable or two These all combine together to provide a cohesive overarching whole with interesting background details of the three main characters worked in It was a lot of fun puzzling out with fairy tale Jack Frank and Marie came from and attempting to predict how their personal run ins with the Blue Fairy brought the characters to where they are todayI listend to the audio book narrated by Scott Aiello Marc Vietor and Tavia Gilbert The three narrator format works uite well as each voice actor brought to life one of the main characters and a whole host of side characters I especially loved whoever it was that voiced the story's narrator The author has stated on his website that this book is a stand alone story with no plans for a seuel I hope Hayes changes his mind and decides to write in this world some day I'd love to read of Jack Frank and Marie's adventures

Free download í E-book, or Kindle E-pub é Drew Hayes

Second Hand CursesThat are far than skin deep As they slash and scheme through kingdom and village alike the Bastard Champions uncover tantalizing clues to their ultimate uarry the powerful Blue Fairy who has made each of their lives a living hellSecond Hand Curses adds a dash of sly wit and a heaping portion of action to the fairy tales you thought you kn. Swashbuckling adventures that are lighthearted and funny with a nod to classical fairy tales Gosh how I wanted to like this audiobook Audible is pushing its own creations pretty hard and they feel a little like Netflix where they first ask what do people want and then find someone to write something to fill the niche This should have been my thing They put a lot of effort into it There are several different narrators doing the voices and I liked all of them except when the female narrator did the super high pitched voice which many men find incredibly sexy but which I just find irritating I should have liked it I just finished a swashbuckling fantasy heist novel last month and I've read a huge number of fairy tale based stories And yet when all is said and done it only totaled up to it was okay Good enough to finish but just barelySince I didn't like the book very much I've thought very hard about what didn't work for me The book is arranged in chapters most of which are each their own story The first chapter is the team trying to help Cinderella get out of the agreement in which she's beholden to be a slave to the Fairy who gave her all the magic to go to the ball and fall in love with the prince By the terms of the contract as soon as the prince finds her Cinderella's contract will be completed and she'll be whisked away to a life of eternal servitude Since the protagonists of this book are scoundrels rather than heroes they don't mind that they're essentially helping Cinderella renege on a contract Also they all hate fairies This is a great premise though I remember hoping that the Cinderella thing was a one off and that the author would not mine public domain work for all the inspirationAlas it was not to be Every single character in this book is inspired by ie ripped off from public domain work Using a common story can be done well see Gregory Maguire and even using someone else's characters can be done well see Jean Rhys but it's thin ice When it's done well the author enriches a beloved story and makes it deeper adding missing backstory and complexity of character When it's not done well the author basically rips off public domain work out of laziness to avoid having to create new characters or come up with something original and sell it to readers It's like the difference between a well crafted historical fiction and Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure It's forgivable if it's funny This book isn't funny I don't know if it was trying for humor but if it was it missed it Yes they are scoundrels but they sure do murder a lot of people without a shred of remorse The scene where little red riding hood shows up and it turns out she and Jack are old sparring partners was clearly trying for humor but it just seemed like a rip off of a scene which wasn't plausible the first time I saw it as a child in a badly done adventure movie Most of the people the scoundrels murder are faceless and nameless guards but even that had its own problem which I'll get into later At one point the guy who is supposedly the one with the kindest heart tortures a guy by slowly cutting off his leg with a saw I get that swashbuckling scoundrels kill people when they live in a harsh and bloody world but torture is not cool bro not cool Even if it's done to save children it's still a step too far Because this is a magical world If you can have a dead guy who is seeing out of a dragon eye you can invent a truth potionMost of the worldbuilding is nonexistent The few details that aren't ripped straight from well known children's stories are generic McFantasy land It reminded me of watching a fantasy themed television show or movie from the 90's and not a comparatively good one like Willow but one where you only forgive the fact that the producers didn't have a budget for extras because there wasn't anything better There's not much complexity There are villages and castles dark forests and I think that's it I think the only element I hadn't seen before was a museum for tourists within the shoemaker's house that talks about how he made his fortune omitting the help the elves did That was kind of cool though the fact that there were tourists made the world feel even Disney and less real world McFantasy land is familiar and comfortable but I've spent a lot of time there and when I read or listen to a fantasy I'm hoping for a little original spinOne of the few truly original ideas in this audiobook was the concept of the Narrative This is like a hand of god that tips the story into favor of those who deserve it For example when a girl is kidnapped by a witch and manages to escape taking some gold with her she's the good guy When the townspeople motivated by greed go to rob from the witch the narrative works against them because they're in the wrong The magic of the Narrative makes it so that if a person is royal and so many of them are everyone else is pretty much beholden to help them If a person is a king or a prince only a knight or other royal can kill them You can't kill fairies without a super magic weapon and only a knight or royal can wield a super magic weapon As scoundrels the protagonists fall between the cracks They can't do some of the things the narrative's typical good guys can do but they also aren't held by the same laws I've read books Redshirts where breaking the fourth wall like this was used to good effect but here I'm not sure how successful it was Marie one of the main characters says at one point that talking openly about the Narrative made her uncomfortable that it was taboo I think I agreed with her It was a nice idea but it heightened this book's weakness that of a lack of realism Reminding me that this was a story in such a blatant way just pulled me further away from caring about the charactersThe plotting was the best thing about this book but even that was kind of mediocre There's the whole thing with the Blue Fairy She's not even mentioned until halfway through the book and then their motivations for finding her are kind of malleable Halfway through the novel we hear about how they're on a uest to find the Blue Fairy and apparently they've been on it for a while It was jarring as if the author decided midway through the book that they needed a main plot and put it in but forgot to go back and revise the first half for consistency In one scene they decide to follow a rider because they think there might be a job attached to it and then in the next chapter no they're hunting the Blue Fairy because they think she's behind that kidnapping and then they're hunting her because they want her to fight other fairies Or maybe they want vengeance for something Later Jack supposedly wants the Blue Fairy's help in undoing his mother's curse but his mother didn't seem cursed just manipulative and abusive The scene where that was showed actually gave Jack a teeny bit of depth I didn't care that much about him still but at least the author tried The motivation for finding the Blue Fairy seemed to change chapter by chapter My guess is that the chapters were written each separately and then strung together into a single piece of work and the author just didn't bother to do enough revision and editing The backflap summary says she made each of their lives a living hell but she hasn't done anything to any of them Marie's curse came from her birth Frank owes his existence to a dead scientist and Jack's mom is just a btch because of the strain of raising a child on too little money with a ne'er do well father So they're hoping for what exactly It's the only overarching plot in the entire book and it's not adeuately explained Oh and they never do find her I guess that's to set up the seuel I will not be listening to the seuel They had just enough of a teaser to let you know that they're going in a new direction by stealing from the 1001 Arabian nights mythos Some of the plotting in the individual chapters was well done and some of it was less well done The chapter where they free the elves from the shoemaker's bond is the best one second one is the ending scene where they free Marie from the wicked king she's about to marry I'm not going to hide this under a spoiler tag because if you've ever seen a single movie or television show in your entire life you'll see the plot coming from a mile away It's cool to see how the Bastard Champions get out of scrapes for a while But after a few chapters I noticed that they never seemed to have any real setbacks They never really felt afraid that they weren't going to succeed And there's the little fact that I just had a hard time thinking of any of these characters and real or worth investing in emotionally Which brings me back to the main flaw with this novel the characters The main characters are Jack Frank and Marie Jack is Jack the Giant killer Jack be nimble Jack be uick He's supposedly mad saw no sign of it very fast a good swordsman greedy he's loyal to his friends and he grins Oh boy how he grins We're told he grins about twenty times Every time he's mentioned his grin is mentioned how it hides his true nature hides is madness hides his dark past doesn't really have one blah blah He's the most well crafted character in the story and he's really uite shallow Frank has the second most developed character He's a flesh golem who does his best to help people especially children to atone for a child whose parts were used to make him Did I say flesh golem Oh how I wish he were just a flesh golem But no the author doesn't trust that you will be bothered to hear about someone who isn't famous No he's Dr Frankenstein's monster Sad right We're told he has a good heart nearly as often as we're told that Jack grins We're not shown that through his actions but we're told it often as if by force of repetition we will come to believe it The characters felt like sit com characters that had only one trait or a common one liner that they trotted out to make us all feel like we were in on the joke Except I didn't find any of it funny It just wasn't clever enough or maybe I'm too jaded having read too many fairy tale spinoffs to find this fresh Frank is good at inventions and makes hang gliders and gunpowder on occasion I wish they would have used that Taking this in a Renaissancesteampunk direction could have added some fun novelty He covers his face with a hood most of the time and people are pretty much universally revolted by him unless the author wanted to demonstrate that the person meeting him was a good person It would make sense that a worldly person would be less revolted and an innocent child would be frightened even if the child turned out to be good but there isn't room for that much complexity hereMarie is the third character and at first I thought she might actually be an original She's a princess in hiding who is cursed to hulk out and turn into a beast when she's angry She's worked on controlling it but she's basically the muscle of the threesome That's pretty much the extent of her personality Later we find out that not only is she not really an original the author made her the daughter of Belle and the Beast and didn't even bother to change Belle's name from the Disney version or alter the fact that the servants used to be furniture I kept hoping that she would redeem the lack of originality but she disappointed me tooBasically this whole novel felt like expecting a delicious meal made from scratch and being served luke warm Spaghetti o's with a sprig of parsley on the side If all you know are Spaghetti o's maybe it seems good but if you have better taste you won't be fooled It's derivative with a capital D Everything is stolen and rehashed from better known works I understand that there must be people who love remakes and reusing famous characters because it seems that every movie out these days is a half baked reboot of something we've seen twice but to me it's just lazy crap I want something new I want originality and a new spin on an old classic has to try pretty hard to work I thought the fairy tale would be a launching point not a blueprint for every scene Even a brilliant author with a fine wit and deft sense of humor would have had a hard time with it Tepid world building weak characters and a broken plot make me not recommend this book But at least the production values were good The voice actors did a professional job I really thought the female narrator was two people