Summary How I Became a Famous Novelist ã PDF eBook or Kindle ePUB free

Free read How I Became a Famous Novelist

Summary How I Became a Famous Novelist ã PDF, eBook or Kindle ePUB free È What Pete Tarslaw wants is simple enough a realistic amount of fame that will open new avenues of sexual opportunity; the kind of financial comfort that will allow him to spend his life pursuing hobbies such as boating or skeet shooting What Pete Tarslaw wants is simple enough a realistic amount of fame that will open new avenues of sexual opportunity; the kind of financial comfort that will allow him to spend his life pursuing hobbies such as boating or skeet shooting at his stately home by the ocean or a scenic lake; and perhaps most importantly the chance to humiliate his ex girlfriend at her. “Everybody does have a book in them but in most cases that's where it should stay” Christopher Hitchens Pete Tarslaw spends his days turning crappy themes written by wealthy teens into polished essays good enough for a college application He never really thought about being a novelist until he sees best selling author Preston Brooks being interviewed on TV Pete considers said author to be full of shit but is taken by the adoring young women shown in the audience at the writer's lecture tour their backs arched forward and their eyes expectant were rows of college girls Young women in little sweaters and tight jeans pliant and needy Their faces yearned with nameless desire pleading with Preston to fill them with hard truths Pete decides to become a famous novelist He's not concerned with writing a great novel you understand just a best selling one And as we all know best selling does not necessarily mean good The financial success of an author is inversely proportional to the literary worth of the book And so begins Pete's uest First the research After careful study of the New York Times Best Sellers he compiles a list of rules for writing a best seller Here are just a few examples Rule 4 Must include a murder Rule 9 At dull points include descriptions of delicious meals Rule 12 Give readers versions of themselves infused with extra awesomeness Under the influence of uestionable pharmaceuticals Pete cranks out a novel guaranteed to enthrall the book buying saps and actually manages to sell the damned thing to a publisher Now the big uestion will it be a best seller This was a clever funny send up of writers and the publishing industry In a strange coincidence last week I happened to win a copy of The Bestseller Code Anatomy of a Blockbuster Novel a nonfiction look at writers and the publishing industry I'm going to have a jolly old time comparing and contrasting and as I do I'll keep in mind the words of Pete Tarslaw The hardest thing about writing was picking which words to use Uh huh

Steve Hely Ì 5 Summary

Wedding This is the story of how he succeeds in getting it all and what it costs him in the endNarrated by an unlikely literary legend How I Became A Famous Novelist pinballs from the post college slums of Boston to the fear drenched halls of Manhattan's publishing houses from the gloomy purity of Montana’s foremost writing workshop to the hedonistic hotel bar. This is a sly often hilarious satirical takedown of the current publishing scene An invitation to his former girl friend's wedding pushes Pete Tarslow into an existential funk He convinces himself that the only way to avoid losing face at the wedding is to become a bestselling author Based on his examination of the NY Times bestseller lists he develops a set of rules for writing a blockbuster novel A few examples illustrate their tongue in cheek nature Rule 1 Abandon truthRule 2 Write a popular book Don't waste energy trying to make it good Rule 7 Prose should be lyricalRule 9 At dull points include descriptions of delicious mealsRule 15 Must have obscure exotic locations The first half of the book is given over to Pete's development process for his masterwork and is by far the best part Particular highlights include Hely's wickedly imagined fake New York Times bestseller list descriptions of his process are just as brilliantly on targetI took out the folded best seller list from my pocket this time looking at non fiction Anything people liked I started writing World War II Football America The afterlife Wise lessons learned Food again Sex People accused of crimes they didn't commit Pursuits Las Vegas Natural disasters earthuakes tornadoes etc Gentle humor Wise old people telling stories Bargains Hobos Bounty hunters Christmas From his outline to The Tornado Ashes Club As they dodge bounty hunters we hear the tale that brought them together a story of lost love that begins in the hobo camps of the Depression and on mud stained college football fields crisscrossing through the fury of World War II France to the islands of the Mediterranean and the kitchens and vineyards of Peru a saga whose heartbreaking but uplifting end can only come in the swirl of a tornado sweeping across the milkweed and the bluestem of the prairie on a Christmas morning Through a series of serendipitous coincidences The Tornado Ashes Club actually achieves the blockbuster status Pete has dreamed of The second half of the book describes what happens next Although Hely has some fun with the arc of success and decline set pieces on book fair panel discussions the Hollywood screen treatment the seriously high minded writers' workshop the high profile TV interview meltdown public excoriation in the blogosphere he doesn't uite match the savage wit of the first half so that the book coasts to a somewhat perfunctory conclusion In a previous life Hely was a writer for David Letterman and Fox's American Dad series His novel displays similar strengths and weaknesses to the humor of those shows a series of often very clever funny premises for which the development is somewhat perfunctory almost as if after setting up his various gags the author loses interest The book is a little bloated at over 300 pages But the first half contains enough hysterically funny material to justify your giving it a whirl

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How I Became a Famous NovelistS of the Sunset Strip The horrifying hilarious tale of how Pete’s “pile of garbage” called  The Tornado Ashes Club became the most talked about blogged about read admired and reviled novel in America will change everything you think you know about literature appearance truth beauty and those people out there somewhere in America who still care about book. Reprinted from the Chicago Center for Literature and Photography cclapcentercom I am the original author of this essay as well as the owner of CCLaP; it is not being reprinted illegallyProjects of metafiction for example books about authors writing books about authors are notoriously difficult to pull off simply because of the large circle jerk factor involved and the way such a project can easily spiral down into an endless navel gazing masturbation session; now add the extra complexities of trying to make such a project a wacky comedy in that by definition such humor is reuired to be broad and full of stereotypes and it becomes easy to see why for every Wonder Boys that exists we also have a thousand Swimming Inside the Suns But lo and behold it's actually pulled off by former Letterman writer and Emmy nominee Steve Hely in his 2009 How I Became a Famous Novelist even impressive in that this is his debut novel I have to confess it had me laughing so hard this week while out at the cafes I was getting dirty looks from the people at the tables around me; and that's a rare thing for me any something I always take as a good sign As with all books of this type it's not going to be for everyone and for sure a wide swath of you will end up furiously rolling your eyeballs at it no matter how good it is; but for those who occasionally enjoy a well done comedy that takes the p ss out of the publishing industry this will be right up your alleyBecause that's what this basically is a complete and utter indictment of nearly every aspect of the publishing industry tackled one sector at a time; for see the entire thing is seen through the eyes of our anti villain main character Pete Tarslaw a bitter slacker who writes fake college application essays for ignorant rich high schoolers for a living and who was born with a natural gift for mimicking the writing styles of others Pete randomly decides one day that he wants to have a bestselling novel simply as a way of showing up his ex girlfriend at her wedding coming up in another six months; and this is where Hely starts his cynical look at the industry as well by poking holes in the careers of such bestselling hacks as Dan Brown Tom Clancy Mitch Albom and Nora Roberts not to mention adult education writing workshops and the tittering female fans of Victorian erotica who populate them But if this was all the story consisted of it'd be worthy of not much than a short at McSweeney's or the like; the book only gets truly brilliant after Tarslaw actually gets the book signed at which point we enter the world of tired jaded pencil pushing editors at the mercy of their corporate overlords' marketing departments which serves as just the starting point for the universe of dysfunction Tarslaw enters once his book is actually outThat's the biggest thing I want to emphasize today that the main reason Famous Novelist works so well is that Hely has a complex understanding of just how the publishing industry works displaying a wide range of hatred instead of just concentrating on easy targets like so many metafictional comedies do by the time the story is over he has offered up vicious parodies of such diverse character types and institutions as oversexed academes televangelists who manipulate bestseller lists through their cash flush congregations trashy afternoon talk shows designed for New Age soccer moms earthy Vermont lesbians Brooklyn dwelling hipster douchebags the Iowa Writers Workshop Entertainment Weekly product placement specialists the ABA BookExpo and pretentious non producing MFA students not to mention such easily recognizable real people as Lindsay Lohan Harvey Weinstein Barbara Walters James Frey Michiko Kakutani Harriet Klausner Jessa Crispin Miss Snark and yes yours truly And that's the real key to a book length metafictional comedy working is that Hely makes his skewering both expansive and specific not only working hard to come up with as much stuff to parody as possible but making many of these parodies so obscure that only the truly dedicated will get them even while leaving in enough broad references to Stephen King and Danielle Steele that a general audience can enjoy it tooBut the final key to Famous Novelist being so successful is something almost the opposite of all this and is why so many metafiction projects end up falling flat on their face which is that Hely injects a healthy dose of sincerity and heart into the story as well ironically showing us by the end why storytelling is so important to society in the first place; and in a twist so ingenious that I wanted to jump out of my chair and scream FREAKING BRILLIANT Hely accomplishes this through an episode of Oprah using a premise typical of her show as an entirely snot free example of why people bother reading books to begin with despite the thousand headaches and fools he just got done describing in the 300 pages previous Certainly a metafictional project doesn't need to have such a non ironic element in order to be a success but certainly Famous Novelist is much better than other such novels for it and is the detail that will have you continuing to think about this book long after you're done reading itNow make no mistake an author can only get away with one book like this in their career and it's still to be seen whether Hely has the chops to write another novel this solid once getting away from highly gimmicky concepts; but at least this book is nearly perfect for what it aims to be high praise from a guy who usually can't stand such self referential tomes It comes highly recommended to my fellow erudite book lovers and especially those so mired in the industry that they will get all of the dozens and dozens of jokey references made withinOut of 10 94Well okay he doesn't mention me specifically; but he does have this whole brilliant rant about nihilistic overeducated self hating litbloggers who maintain websites with arcane and meaningless names a category I fit into as snugly as a hand into a glove